Grandma Bear

H is for Hope

Today’s post will be short and sweet.

I know, at times, the obstacles for parents of children on the spectrum may seem overwhelming. Hang in there. Celebrate the small things.

Mama Bear walked into J’s room the other day. He was sitting in the middle of the floor playing with his dinosaurs. When she stuck her head into his room to check on him, he looked up at her smiled and said hi! Doesn’t sound like much to a parent of a neurotypical child but this was the first time in his whole life that J acknowledged someone and spoke first, unprompted.

Today, J participated in an Easter Egg hunt at his school. The teachers gave each child a cartoon in a specific color and instructed them to find and collect only the eggs in that color. J found all six of his.

Little things like this keep the hope alive.

#AtoZBloggingChallenge #autism #autismspeaks #hope #amwriting #GrandmaBear #10MinNovelists #365WritingChallenge

G is for Goals

Goals are an important part of life. For people on the spectrum, goals are more than just important. They are vital.

As children with autism enter school, an IEP, or Individualized Education Plan, provides a roadmap for education. In order to create a successful IEP, goals must be set. These goals should be set to increase skills in a variety of areas including:

  • Physical skills
  • Cognitive skills (thinking, learning, solving problems)
  • Communication skills (talking, listening, understanding others)
  • Self-help or adaptive skills (eating, dressing)
  • Social or emotional skills (playing, interacting with others)
  • Sensory processing skills (handling textures, tastes, sounds, smells)

In order to set effective goal, one needs to understand how to recognize and set smart goals. SMART goals should be:

  • SPECIFIC: Detailed. Answer the five ‘W’ questions.
    • What exactly do you want to accomplish?
    • Who needs to be involved? Who will be impacted? Who can help?
    • When will you work on this? When will you finish it? You’ll get more detailed under Time-bound but at least set a general time limit here.
    • Where will the work take place?
    • Which challenges must you overcome? This question will help determine if your goal is realistic or not.
    • Why? This is my favorite word of all time. Why are you setting this goal? Why do you want to achieve whatever it is you are setting the goal for?
  • MEASURABLE: how will you know if you have achieved your goal? I recommend setting an overall method of measurement along with some smaller milestones along the way. Give yourself a chance to celebrate the small wins. Celebrations keep the motivation high.
  • ACHIEVABLE: Setting unachievable goals is setting yourself up for failure. Yes, goals should make you stretch. They should make you work harder, make you grow. Goals should not defeat you, not beat you up. Setting unattainable goals is dooming yourself to a downward spiral of defeatism, low self-esteem, and frustration. Goals are meant to inspire and motivate you, not discourage you. Think about what you need to achieve your goals. This ties back into the specific and measurable portions of a smart goal. Know what you need to learn to achieve your goal. Celebrate the small successes as you work to the BIG success.
  • RELEVANT: Do you really need this goal? It this something that’s truly important? If you are setting goals for a non-verbal child, would it really make sense to set a goal of learning the finer points of debate? A relevant goal for a non-verbal child could be to teach him/her to respond to his/her name. Make sure your goals make sense and are for the good of your child.
  • TIME-BOUND: A goal without a deadline is just dream. If you don’t have realistic time-constraints you are unlikely to achieve your goal. If you are setting a long-term goal, set smaller deadlines within your overall deadline. This helps you measure where you are in the process and provides those opportunities for small celebrations.

While researching this post, I came across several good resources including:

#amwriting #AtoZBloggingChallenge #autism #autismspeaks #SMARTgoals #GrandmaBear #365WritingChallenge #10MinNovelist #RattlerStudioandPress

F is for Friendship

For a person with autism, forming and keeping friendships can be tricky. They may not know how to start a conversation. Body language can be confusing. Anxiety may increase their tendencies to be tongue-tied. They may not understand why when they reach out to a friend, the friend doesn’t respond right away. They may worry what they did wrong. Often, people with autism lack the self-confidence needed in social situations.

Oh, wait a minute! These are the same reactions as almost everyone out there-–on the spectrum or not.

Just because a person with autism is different, it doesn’t mean they don’t crave companionship. People with autism are just like people not on the spectrum. Some are social butterflies. Others are not.

Autism changes the way a person’s brain and body work. This may make it difficult for them to speak. Twenty-five percent of people on the spectrum are non-verbal. They may not communicate the same way everyone else does, but they do communicate. Sometimes they use sign language, picture cards, or a pen and paper. None of that changes the fact that they can be smart–sometimes scary-smart, passionate, talented people. People who deeply value friendship.

In a recent study comparing neurotypical women aged twenty to forty with women the same age on the spectrum the most significant difference found was that while neurotypical women tend to collect a large circle of acquaintances, women on the spectrum choose one or two close friends and get to really know them.

J is fortunate. He attends an Early Childhood Development school where he can make friends, but more importantly, he has cousins. Cousins that accept him the way he is. To them, he’s not “on the spectrum.” He’s just J.

#AtoZBloggingChallenge #Autism #AutismSpeaks #DifferentNotLess #GrandmaBear