C is for Calm

As an autistic person gets overwhelmed and frustrated, the brain can go into meltdown—which we will discuss in a week or two when we reach the letter M. The most important thing to remember about a meltdown is that it is a biological response, not a choice. Raising your voice or losing your calm may make the situation worse.

People will tell you the best way to calm a child is to keep them calm; don’t let them lose control in the first place. That’s fine and dandy for a neurotypical child, but often there is no way of know what will set off an autistic child. It could be something as simple as an unexpected and unavoidable change in their daily routine. Sometimes lights, or even smells, can trigger an episode.

Children with autism may have less control over their emotions than their typical peers; as a result, emotional explosions are (in many cases) more common. They aren’t throwing fits to gain attention, get their way or because they want a new toy.  They are simply reacting to their emotions–excitement, frustration, anxiety–or sensory overload.

Knowing a few techniques and keeping a few items handy can help you calm your child.

Most autistic children show signs of distress before they go into a full-blown meltdown. Now is the perfect time to distract them with a favorite toy, activity, or video. While the child is distracted, look around for any environmental factors that are causing the problem. If possible, get rid of them. Turn off the flashing lights. Remove the child from the area. Offer the child noise-cancelling headphones.

It’s not always possible to remove the triggers or remove the child from the area where the triggers are. In times like these, it’s handy to have an emergency kit with you. Items to include in the kit are your child’s favorite toy, a handheld video game, a smartphone or mobile DVD player with the child’s favorite cartoon, a sensory bucket filled with dried beans and little ‘treasures’ to dig for.

I’m excited to announce that the AT&T Center in San Antonio has installed a sensory room. According to Spurs press release:

“The AT&T Center Sensory Room provides a quiet, calming space for any fan in need of a peaceful refuge inside the arena. The private room is furnished with plush seating, calming artwork, and sensory-friendly activities. The AT&T Center is now certified as sensory inclusive by KultureCity, and a majority of full-and-part-time staff members have participated in sensory training through the organization.”

Patrons to the ATT&T Center can visit Guest Services to obtain other sensory considerations: noise-cancelling headphones, a non-verbal feelings thermometer, fidget toys, and a KultureCity VIP lanyard so that arena staff may identify people who may have sensory issues. Check with the major event centers in your area to see if they offer something similar.

Weighted vests or blankets can also be a lifesaver. Remember how swaddling an infant could stop crying? Some of us never outgrow that need for that feeling. A weighted vest or blanket can provide that same sense of security. If you don’t have a weighted blanket, sometimes wrapping the child like a burrito in a soft blanket can have the same effect. The pressure is calming.

If your child can communicate, try meditation techniques like finding five blue items in the room or four circles. Try breathing exercises. Blowing bubbles releases stress, involves deep breathing, and is fun.

Explain to your child what and why you are doing what you are doing before you do it. For example, don’t just grab his/her hand. Say “I want you to hold my hand so we can cross the street safely.” as you take hold of the hand.

Each child is different. Each child will react differently.

The most important, and sometimes most difficult, thing to remember is to stay calm yourself. The calmer you are, the sooner you will be able to calm your child.